Whenever someone famous commits suicide people are affected in different ways. There is usually the surprise and shock associated with the sudden death. There are the questions of why and how could they? Most of them have achieved success and wealth and have adoring fans. Why would a person who seems to have it all want to end their life? They live in the real world just like you and I.
When these people appeared in the public eye they seemed so happy and positive and full of energy. It seemed their lives were so easy and they were able to have whatever they desired. What we saw was just a snapshot of their life. What we saw was only what they wanted us to see. What we saw was actually fantasy and not reality. These celebrities lived in the real world as we all do. They all had a history of life experiences, tragedies, losses, as well as the happy times and successes. Some had medical issues. Others had mental health and substance abuse problems. It is not easy living your life in the public eye. It affects how others see them as well as making it more difficult to have stable relationships. They lived in the real world and what the rest of us see is merely an illusion.
Just like the rest of us, life sometimes gets to be too much to deal with. Feelings of desperation and helplessness and hopelessness take over. It seems there is no way out other than to put an ending to it all. They lived in the real world.
If you look at what you think their lives have been and compare them to your own remember that you live in the real world too.
In the corporate world there is a saying. “There are no problems, just opportunities.” I totally disagree. There are problems that come up for all of us. We cannot avoid having problems arise in our lives. Some of these are small inconveniences while other problems can be quite significant and sometimes life altering. But, the fact remains that we all encounter problems.
We have choices to make when issues arise. We can avoid facing them. We can find a way around them. We can allow ourselves to fall victim and allow it to keep us from progressing in our lives. We can also face the problem, deal directly with it, and move on no matter what the outcome. The outcome is not completely in our power to control. What we do is in our control.
Sometimes we have difficulty seeing the problem for what it is or how to deal with it. Reaching out for help is a powerful tool. Many people think that seeking assistance or help somehow makes us weak individuals. Knowing when to seek help and doing so is a powerful and useful tool for solving and overcoming problems. Support is very important for all of us.
Seek the solutions to the problems you face. Solve the issue the best you can and get assistance when it is needed and available. Learn what you need to learn. Don’t hold on to the issue once it is behind you. This will only inhibit your ability to move forward.
Yes, there are problems. But, many times we benefit from finding solutions and learning from them.
As much as would like our lives to be smooth and without problems, it isn’t the way life unfolds. It is not a matter of if we will have an issue or problems to deal with, but when. Having the ability to deal with and overcome adversity is an important part of having a rewarding and fulfilling life. For me it begins with accepting that life isn’t fair and that we have limited control over many aspects of our lives. When things are going smoothly we have the illusion that we have everything under control. It is not until a problem presents itself that we are hit the reality. There are many, many things beyond our awareness or control.
I hear many people say, “If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck,” or “Why do bad things always happen to me.”, or “I must have done something very wrong because I am being punished.” None of this is true and the universe is not out to get you personally.
Don’t do things to avoid the feelings that come up with regard to the problem. Write about it. Talk to friends and family. Try to learn the lessons you can from the situation. The key is acceptance. You cannot change the past. You can only move forward.
You will find that you are much stronger than you think and can deal with a lot. We learn from the problems we face and the mistakes we have made. When we have not succeeded at something it does not make us a failure. There is a lot of truth to the saying that those things that don’t kill us make us stronger.