Fixing Things

It can take no more than a minute to make a mistake. Repairing the damage and healing usually take much longer. Although we may look for a quick and easy fix, we rarely find one. Seek support, encouragement, and the advice of others. Take your time. Go through the process. There are no shortcuts. (I learn a little more each day and heal a bit more.)

Practical Advice

If you have a situation or issue to deal with or overcome work through it the best you can and move on. As much as we would like to have do overs or an easy button, there are none. Life is too short to dwell on the past and be miserable. We all find ourselves in situations we don’t want to be in. We are all human and make mistakes. Developing the life skills to navigate life is very important.

If you have a topic you would like to me to discuss, please contact me.

Overcoming Adversity

In the corporate world there is a saying. “There are no problems, just opportunities.” I totally disagree. There are problems that come up for all of us. We cannot avoid having problems arise in our lives. Some of these are small inconveniences while other problems can be quite significant and sometimes life altering. But, the fact remains that we all encounter problems.

We have choices to make when issues arise. We can avoid facing them. We can find a way around them. We can allow ourselves to fall victim and allow it to keep us from progressing in our lives. We can also face the problem, deal directly with it, and move on no matter what the outcome. The outcome is not completely in our power to control. What we do is in our control.

Sometimes we have difficulty seeing the problem for what it is or how to deal with it. Reaching out for help is a powerful tool. Many people think that seeking assistance or help somehow makes us weak individuals. Knowing when to seek help and doing so is a powerful and useful tool for solving and overcoming problems. Support is very important for all of us.

Seek the solutions to the problems you face. Solve the issue the best you can and get assistance when it is needed and available. Learn what you need to learn. Don’t hold on to the issue once it is behind you. This will only inhibit your ability to move forward.

Yes, there are problems. But, many times we benefit from finding solutions and learning from them.

Success

It has been my experience when the thought of failure has not entered my mind, I have experienced the most success. I guess this could mean that thinking of possible failure results in thoughts that subconsciously place barriers to our success. This is another reason to focus on the steps you are taking toward a specific goal and not about the ultimate outcome. In other words, it is good to have goals but best not to focus on the goal.

You are capable of far more than you can imagine.

Power and Control

Just how much power and control do we have over what happens in our lives? When things are going smoothly we feel very powerful and think we have everything under control. That changes quickly when something comes along and disrupts our lives. This can be due to something we did not anticipate or of which we were unaware. It could also be an unanticipated consequence of something we did or said. It can be caused by other people or natural forces.

It is very important to recognize and accept what we have can have power and control over as well as what we do not. Even though we can influence people and events, we do not have the power to control them. Touch the tip of your nose. This is where our control ends. We have the power and control of what we think and do. This very much determines what we feel. We do have control of how we react to events and deal with them.

Make the effort to accept these truths and it will make your life simpler and more easily managed.

Change

One question I am asked on a pretty regular basis is whether it is possible to change things about ourselves. The answer is “Yes” we are capable of changing how we act, think, and feel. Much of what we do and think are the ways we learned to and these have become habits. The next question is normally is: How do I do that?

The first step is to identify what it is you want to change.  What behavior or way of acting causes you problems?  What way of thinking do you wish to change?  You need to start by increasing your awareness in order to start changing. You will also need to find out what you will replace those thoughts or behaviors.

The next step I call catch and correct.  Every time you catch yourself thinking or doing what you want to change, you correct your behavior or thinking to what you would rather it be.  This takes vigilance and persistence.  It takes time to break habits and establish new ones.  It will take time.

Some counselors make it seem so easy.  These are simple steps.  But changing isn’t so simple and easy.  Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself.  You can do it!!!!!