Not Feeling Good Enough

One of the most, if not the most, self-defeating beliefs is not feeling good enough. It sets people up for the self-fulfilling prophecy of failure, isolation, and depression. It is based on an invalid belief based on comparing ourselves with what we believe others to be. When we compare ourselves to others we invariably find ourselves to be less than.

There is only one richest, most talented, most successful, attractive, smartest, etc. When we sit at a traffic light and envy the person next to us in the more expensive car, maybe our dream car, we see ourselves as not measuring up somehow. I hear clients talk about not being where they should be in their lives compared to others their age. The result of this is poor self-esteem and feeling depressed. The focus is on what you haven’t achieved and what we don’t or haven’t had and on what others appear to be in their lives. Everyone’s path in life is different.

First, what we see of others is only the surface and only a snapshot. We do not know what they experience or feel nor the issues or problems they might be facing. Second, life is not a competition. We can only be who we are and experience what we experience. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have things we like and don’t like about ourselves.

I will write more on this topic in coming days. Begin by writing a list of the accomplishments you have. We all have them. List even what you might think as trivial (example: got an A in math in 8th grade). Focus on your strengths and improving those parts of yourself you might think of as lacking. Those things you fear need to be faced if you want to overcome them. More to follow…………………